More about feelings: What can be said, we haven’t said yet?
This week, the survey encouraged me to explore my development during the course. Of course I do it all the time, but the questions asked this time caused increased introspection and reflection.
I already wrote last week, I feel like an onion, peeled his first layer. My new insight from the survey was that my Dharma is not sharp enough. I’ve changed my DMP during the course, to fit my goals. But the motive that sits at the base of the DMP needs a more precise focus. And I got a tool to refine it: I ask the Creator every morning when I get up, and every evening before sleep, what is my role on earth.
While writing this blog, I thought about the process Og Mandino went through, from that child imbued with faith and purpose, as his mother thought him, through the man that felt despair, and wanted to take his own life, till the great author he became. And all the way he did from reading the book of Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone.
I want to share with you another tool I found out, that wrote Anthony Robbins, relating to control of emotions. This tool isrelated to the process that we go through .
The power of rituals
The following article is a summary of the technique from one of the best coaches in the world, Anthony Robbins.
This technique helps us to control our emotions, to make negative emotions become positive, and enjoy life more.
Our feelings are changing the frequencies of the energy that we feel, and these frequencies are the cause that triggers the law of attraction and attracts into our lives corresponding energy.
Therefore it is very important we learn to control our emotions and to have the ability to choose how we want to feel.
Our lives we are ruled by one thing only that is: our personal rituals. Og Mandino calls it habits. Those habits control our lives continuously even if we are aware of them or not.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking or saying, “I’m depressed” or “I’m nervous” and other descriptions of that style?
Is there some negative feelings you experience on a regular basis as irritability, depression or lack of motivation?
The question is: Are these emotions affect the quality of your life?
Do they affect your daily activities?
And ultimately whether they affect your life and destiny?
The answer to all these questions is yes.
What do you do daily to feel angry, depressed or unmotivated?
To feel bad you have to “work on it”, it requires an effort on your part. Things do not happen by themselves.
What is a ritual? Ceremony is the action taken by it again and again.
We are all aware of joyful ceremonies that are held every year during the holidays or family circles like birthdays, but we are not always aware of the negative internal rituals taking place inside our minds.
So what are the negative emotions that you experience on a regular basis and cause pain in your life and create limitations?
In order to experience the negative emotions on a regular basis, they have to habits.
In order to become a habit, you have developed yourself rituals of paradigms, inner speech, body language and movement that make you feel that way.
It might be you acquired these ceremonies from your “clan”, you do not belong any more. And maybe it’s time to join a stronger tribe that is people who control their lives.
A). Take a sheet of paper and write on it for at least five negative feelings which you experience regularly. Feelings you have made a habit you experienced on average two or three times a week, and you can trust that they will appear again next week, for example emotions such as despair, anger, resistance, sadness, depression, disappointment…
Write them now:
In order to experience these 5 emotions, what should you do? What you do you need to believe inside you? What is the ritual?
For example: If you feel disappointed regularly, what are the rituals you do to feel disappointed?
One way to feel disappointed is to hold expectations of exactly how you want things to happen.
Then because you’ll need to deal with people related to the subject and they do not do things exactly as you expected … Does it make you feel disappointed?
Or have unrealistic expectations of how fast something should be done and find out it’s not happening as fast as expected.
All these rituals are habits you have developed that promise you to experience disappointment again and again.
In addition to the experience of disappointment you also believe you can’t change anything about it.
B). Analyze and detail any of the steps you have to go through to feel that way.
For example, if we wrote in section one emotion: Depression, then we writes something like this:
Operating instructions of how I became depressed:
1. I begin to imagine ugly pictures of the worst things that can happen in a situation in the future.
2. I start to breathe heavily, dropping the shoulders down, my walking slows.
3. My voice descending in tones and sounds lifeless, I tell myself negative sentences.
4. I feel depressed!
Look carefully at all the negative-feeling keys you noted in Section 1 and turn them to simple operating instructions, so you can understand the steps you go through in order to feel that way.
What have you learned about yourself through this observation?
Have you understood the fact, that feeling you experience cannot just show up, but must come as a result of specific steps that you perform subconsciously?
It’s great that we also have positive rituals that make us feel strong , happy and full of motivation .
Here starts the fun…
A. Take a sheet of paper and write on it for at least five positive feelings which you experience regularly at least once or twice a week, for example emotions such as hope, love, kindness, joy, confidence, gratitude, motivation, success…
Write them now:
B. Analyze and detail any of the steps you have to go through to feel that way.
Once you know the steps you can use them anytime you want to feel that way again.
Write it down as if you want to teach someone else the steps you go through in order to feel positive emotion (like a recipe).
For example: In order to feel motivated I need:
1. See positive images in my mind, possibilities to succeed, have fun, get an appreciation, make people happy, and make money…
2. My breathing is deep, I stand up straight and walk full of life.
3. My voice became higher and stronger.
4. I tell myself strengthening sentences, describe the reason that I am able to do it and how fun it is going to be…
Learn these positive behavioral patterns and insert them in your mind, to retrieve them when necessary.
Once you catch yourself experiencing negative emotion, suddenly wake up and are aware that you feel the negative ceremony carried out unconsciously.
At that moment of understanding, you can take the ceremonial recipe for creating a positive emotion and change your status to positive – whenever you want.
Once you know what makes you feel good and you’ll know why you feel bad, you can play with it and decide how you want to feel.
As you practice this, you will develop an automatic mechanism that will signal to your mind every time you performed a negative ritual so you can stop and change the process in time or turn it from negative to positive.
Reflection about Og mandino (according to session 23, and to this article)
He went through a negative loop, after all his life seemed to be unworthy.
How did this happen? He ran a negative ritual in mind:
1. He stood at the window and watched the gun.
2. He thought that the gun can be the only solution to his miserable life.
3. He saw himself shooting his head with the gun and ending his life.
4. He walked toward the store that sold the gun, certainly not with joy and high energy; he was going to end his life. But he did not dare doing this. He describes it as a lack of spine.
He turns to a library, see a book that catches his eyes. In order to change a negative feeling, one should make a physical act that breaks the pattern – he bought the book and began to read. The rest is history.
The fastest way to interrupt and break negative ceremony is to change the physiology of the body, meaning, to do something with the body. Something unusual like jumping in front of a mirror with hands up and triumphantly shouting Yesssssss!!! (I’m walking with my hands up and thumbs pointed, as we saw in one of the videos, and shout in the streets “I can be what I will to be! ” ) . The brain doesn’t understand what is happening. It makes no sense that a person who felt depressed jumps and shouts encouraging statements. Then the mind will have to change the feeling to matches the behavior.
I became more creative and break the rituals and negative patterns with the tools that I learned in this course.
Peace be the journey!